Marriage Really Isn’t About Making Each
Other Happy

By Jenny Palmiotto

For those of you who attended the 2015 installment of Love & Autism: A Conference with Heart, David Finch needs no introduction. One of the most provocative, powerful, and witty speakers I have had the opportunity to witness; this year, back by popular demand, David Finch is joined by his wife Kristen Finch to share Part Two of their Story (visit http://kristenfinch.com/do-we-still-fit-together/). This year, David and Kristen will debunk the happiness myth. They will delve in to what truly makes us happy within relationships with three actionable strategies: Practicing self-love, ownership, and over-the-top celebration.

For those of you that weren’t at Love & Autism, David Finch was our #1 rated speaker. Most put sentiments such as “I could listen to him all day!” “I didn’t know I could laugh so much and learn at the same time.” Some came forward months later and indicated that Finch had helped them understand and seek a diagnosis of autism for themselves. Others have shared with me that they have come to realize Finch’s advice; that we can all create healthy relationships in all the varied forms that relationships exist.

Let’s back up… David and Kristen were married in 2003 and five years later David was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome. Nowadays, David may have been diagnosed much earlier with his description of his childhood pleasures of pushing his face into the carpet; “The brushing sensation of blended-fiber carpet pile against my forehead put me in a place of tranquility…” Today, his parent may have worried with his propensity to mimic sounds in his environment as he explains in his memoire, “I had always mimicked the sounds in my environment, so when I was older a few moos and quacks here and there didn’t seem out of place.” Yet, for his mom, she enjoyed his serenade often snapping her fingers to his rendition of the sounds of the trombone. Finch as a child, surely sounds like many of our children and clients. But, how is it that this little boy who describes himself as sometimes “too obnoxious” turn in to a world-renowned expert of relationships. It’s quite easy to see…he put all his autistic energy into being the best partner he could be. And we can all learn from him…

David spent the following years gaining a deeper understanding of Asperger syndrome and developing a formula of “best practices” for being a better husband. In his New York Times best-selling Memoir, David revealed the details of his journey with the world. He and Kristen shared their story on TV, radio, and magazines. They toured the country and openly discussed their struggles and triumphs with others. They inspired hope in others whose marriages were experiencing similar hardships. Yet, there was still a missing piece of the puzzle. They both needed to rediscover themselves as individuals, who were they, and who was their partner. Once these questions were answered, did they still fit? At Love & Autism: A Conference with Heart, they will share their experience of deconstructing their marriage while re-focusing on their individual development, letting go of expectations of the other partner, and living as their genuine selves (together). Do not miss this dynamic duo as they get candid about improving your relationship without wasting efforts: practicing self-love, ownership, and over-the-top celebration.

We can guarantee laughs. We know David and Kirsten Finch will delight. But more than that, we can guarantee that whoever brought you to Love & Autism—your child, your clients, your own journey—David and Kirsten will move you to a place of better understanding of how to fully accept your loved one for who they are and stand in your own truth. You will leave with a new perspective on how to connect to improve your relationship. We all long to be closer to our loved ones, we all want our loved ones to be truly happy. This couple teaches us how they continue to love each other better each day. The best news is that we all can put in place these best practices to being better at loving fully. And we can all start today.

David is a writer, speaker, husband and author of the New York Times best-selling book The Journal of Best Practices: A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man’s Quest to Be a Better Husband. Kristen is a speech therapist, autism expert, wife and life coach who focuses on changing habits through action and practice to support lasting change in attitude and action. Learn from David, Kirsten Finch and so many more at Love & Autism on October 8th-9th. Love & Autism is for you! Funding is available for CA Regional Center consumers. Visit our website for scholarship opportunities and to register. We’ll see you there.

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