There is that word; hope.
Do Humans Need Hope?
I think feelings of hope are a natural desire for humans and when we are not feeling it, or desiring it, we begin to feel off-balance. I like to dig deep and dive right into the root of emotions and human behavior (I guess that’s why I became a therapist. Lol!)
So, let’s dive in further into: Where do you find your hope? How to refocus when feeling hopeless, and giving yourself permission to not always have it figured out.
Where do you find your hope?
We have to be able to identify where we find hope, in order to know where to look for it when it goes missing.
Hope is “a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.” Having hope is a very powerful feeling, having just a little bit of hope can get you through the most stressful, tough and dark times in your life. Hope is something to cling to when you have no control in a situation.
When you find yourself “hoping” something goes right, or “hoping” that test comes back negative, what (or who) are you placing your hope in? Is it within yourself? Is it in the work you do? Is it in your spirituality/belief system? Is it in your family and friends?
We have to be able to identify where we find hope, in order to know where to look for it when it goes missing.
One of my all time favorite movies is 'Love Actually' and the beginning scene is very simple. The movie starts at an airport terminal full of people embracing one another and Hugh Grant is narrating this scene in a lovely way and ends by saying “love actually is… all around.” This reminds me to place some of my hope in the kindness of humanity, not the negative evil part that is usually highlighted or publicized.
How to refocus when feeling hopeless
When we are spending too much energy placing our hope in things that don’t refuel us (in the way that we really need), hopelessness begins to creep in.
Hope and hopelessness are recurring feelings in my life. Anyone else? I know when I am full of hope, and I definitely know when I am lacking and feeling extremely hopeless. Being able to identify those feelings presents you with the opportunity to acknowledge them and then make the choice to refocus and re-establish hope. This may mean taking the time to evaluate whether or not you are putting time, effort and energy into someone (or something) that does not actually give you feelings of desire, aspiration, longing, craving, etc.
When we are spending too much energy placing our hope in things that don’t refuel us (in the way that we really need), hopelessness begins to creep in.
You are going to be ok!
As a mental health professional, it is my job to look at all sides of any feeling, good or bad. The goal of this blog is to not make it sound easy to pull yourself out of these periods when feelings of hopelessness sweep over you. In no way do I want to minimize the dark feelings of hopelessness, but I do hope it can be a guide on how to help you find, or re-establish hope.
I think it is also important to give yourself permission to not have it all figured out.
We don’t need to be perfect, we just need enough hope to keep going.
“We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.”
― Martin Luther King Jr.
“Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.”
― Emily Dickinson